Hard Day

Today is the fourth day of constant working out for round two of weight loss. And today was HARD! Im fighting a cold and I dont know what it is with the fourth day but it seems to be the hardest day. But I did it. 90 min of cardio. I took a break before squats and sit ups and I plan on doing it tonight. But for how miserable I felt exercising when that clock hit 90 min I was so proud of myself! I fell like I am the boss of my body. Its not always fun, in fact its usually awful and hard. But I freaking did it! Weighting in at 203.9 this morning I feel hopeful  for getting under 200 soon. Heres to hard days!

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First Run!!

How did I forget this in the last post???? I ran my very first 5k on Thanksgiving with my sister in law and it was HARD! I have not done any running on hills and race had quite a few hills in it. If it wasnt for Jessica pushing me I would have walked some of the way. But I didnt, I ran the whole way!!! Afterwards I felt exhausted and totally amazing! I am so proud of myself for doing this! I plan to run other races this year, but because this was my very first race and I didnt quit… yeah Im freaking awesome! 

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Starting up again

Its after the holidays, I splurged. We went to vegas before Thanksgiving where I weighed in at 186 and I was feeling amazing. But I ate anything I wanted since then. Its now the middle of Jan and Im back up to 212. I have still been working out but I realized that I enjoy binge eating. Its my weakness. I dont like just cheating, I like cheating until I feel like throwing up. So here I am again, not back at square one but starting again. This time I am so much more aware of my body. I can feel the weight. I can feel the heaviness when I’m running.

This is it, the big push before my first “skinny” summer. My real goal is to wear a swimsuit and just enjoy what Im doing instead of worrying about what I look like. I also want to do lots of active things this year. So heres to me. Back on that horse and whooping its ass.

 

 

I wanted to post a picture of my in Vegas, my smallest so far. Gotta get back to it though. But I was feeling amazing in this picture.

 

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Vent

I recently went to a family gathering at which I had already eaten my dinner, worked out, curled my hair and wore my sexy pants too. And yet when the conversation came to me it was all about what I needed to do to lose the weight that I guess is so obvious that I need advice to lose. News flash, I have lost over 50 pounds, on my own, without your advice. I am doing awesome. It would be way more motivating for you to notice how far I have come, not how far I have left. I came home in tears. Literally I had a melt down. It was awful.

I know my goals and I know how to get there. SO BACK THE HELL OFF!!! If you don’t have something encouraging to say don’t say anything at all! What works for you is not what I’m doing. Your personal trainer told you that you need to focus on certain muscle building training, because you are a twig. I know you are trying to be nice but come on.

I listen to my body and I feel like I am rocking it! Just bought a new swimsuit, its being shipped to me and I can’t tell you how excited I am to get it! I also picked up a pair of size 16/18 pants and shirts and I feel amazing!!! Love your skinny ass but I love my big ass too and its doing great!!

I have reached another plato at 220 but every time I start getting discouraged I just keep doing my thing and when it drops it drops big time. You Got This!!

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Moment of set back!

 

So I hit a wall. I felt sick. I was just so tired. I felt miserable for no real reason. I think the two a day workouts, every other day running until I couldn’t and cutting calories finally got to me. I lost to much weight to fast. This morning I weighed in at 221.2 so I kept to it. But I stopped running. I didn’t run for two days in a row and when I tried to run the third day I could only push a mile. So I have decided to just do what I feel is right. I have also been hungry, but it passes. I turn on some music and go with the flow. I have still worked out everyday, even when I really really dont want to and Im pretty proud. Usually I would have just quit. But I dont want to!

I have no desire to go backwards! Heres to having a hard week (still losing weight) and jumping back on that horse, or elliptical. 🙂

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In the 20s!

 

Finally weighing in at 225.8 this morning. These are my new size 18 jeans shorts. My smerk is because I thought I would look different. I am having a hard time not getting discouraged because the more weight I lose the more I see all my flaws. I am way more self aware of my body and I am finding lots of things I dont like. I have to keep telling myself that I am off to a really great start! Size 18 seemed so far away before. And I’m finally here…. but I want more. I want better! I have started doing some weight training in my arms. I never really disliked my arms before but now I see the fat and extra skin. Im working on it. But Im stronger than ever! I was unable to do a plank for longer than 10 seconds, now Im up to 30 seconds two times in a row. So Im stronger. I just dont feel like my body is showing it yet. I have been craving the healthy food I have been eating. After workouts I want protein, and before workouts I want fruit. Before I had to force these things. I’m also in a great routine of getting up at 8am. Before I had to drag myself out of bed 10 min before the kids had to leave. Still drinking lots of diet soda but on run days I just dont want as much. I can feel it making me slower. I have now lost more than 50 pounds. Gotta love that right? Below is my fitbit informing me I have lost 50 pounds and my dinner last night.

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Mothers Day

 

 

Mothers Day fell on a run day so I ran my new normal of 2.5 miles. My pace is much slower at 12 min average per mile, but I’m running a full 30 min total. I feel that I’m on my way toward the 5k. My husband watched the kids again so I could go for a walk alone in the mountains. Utah is beautiful. I found myself thinking that I would have missed this peace that came over me on my walk had I not started the whole thing. The sound of the water in the stream and the birds chirping was just amazing. The clouds sat on the tops of the mountains. How much have I missed because of laziness. I have a goal to hike timp this year. I have done it before but I was so miserable. I find myself wondering if I missed the beauty of the mountain last time because I was miserable. I want so badly to take in the views, the smells and the sounds of each hike I go on. With this new mind set I start feeling guilty of how much my family has missed out because I was so out of shape. Not anymore. I am going to keep going!!! I saw myself hiking with my husband when my kids are all grown. Just the two of us. My ultimate goal. Old age with my husband.

 

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Two Miles!!!

Ran two miles without stopping!!! Wahoo! Feeling pretty good. I gained a little weight this week but I’m blaming it on PMS. 231 this morning but feeling confident I can be in the 220s in the coming week. Its been hard to keep motivation but I’m still pushing!

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Size 18 for real

When I started this weight loss journey I was a size 22 and they were starting to feel tight.Things didn’t fit me quite right. The last couple weeks I found an old pair of 18 wide jeans that I fit into and I was freaking out excited! But I was still thinking that real 18 wouldn’t fit. Well this morning I found these dress pants that are for real size 18! And dress pants don’t ever fit me quite right but what do you think? This morning I weight in at 230.8! I remember when I was 278 laying in bed wishing I could just get down to 230, I would be happy with myself. I’m here baby.. I’m happy but not done! PS I was a size 12 when I got married.:) Also since running I feel like I can see that I run on my face. Is that weird? I “look like a person who runs”? Wahoo

 

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Another new for me!!

Just got back from this run and I feel like superwoman!! A whole minute off my mile (12 min and 40 sec.) and I added another lap around the park! I also worked out this morning on the elliptical for 50 minutes. Right now I am feeling so good. I accomplished so many things and still fit in my fitness. I was also in a fantastic mood almost all day! Yesterday I felt like I was dragging but as crappy as I felt then I feel amazing! I also did a couple weights exercises for my chest and stayed in my 1365 calories for the day! Wahoo!!! 5k here I come!

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